The Twelve Best Free Online Dates of Christmas Time

Sep 26

The Twelve Dates of Christmas Time

I am publishing a few cryptic status updates on Facebook recently in regards to the many suitors during my crazy dating life. Since heading back online, i have had some super horror that is weird (that we’ll conserve for a subsequent entry) however for now, we thought you would enjoy an even more in depth description associated with the guys i am speaking with.

The term is used by me”men” instead loosely!

Suitor number 1: Name: JJ Age: 39 Height: 6’3 Job: Engineer Lives: longer Island OkCupid Match: a disappointing 69% he shall be called by us JJ, mostly because that’s the nickname just their cousin is permitted to utilize. From other people, it is hated by him. Kinda just like me with Kimmy. You’ll phone me personally Kim, Kimberly, or Kimba, however for the love of all things holy, PLEASE usually do not phone me personally Kimmy. (Unless you are my small cousin. I am called by him Timmy. Cutest thing ever! ) JJ and I also have now been dating for many months. We came across on the internet and their writing hooked me personally above other things. He is exceptionally smart, specialized in their work, well look over, super nerdy, and extremely high. Our times have actually included pizza and guy of metal, on a daily basis in the coastline, and a swanky supper with their friends among countless other people. We have been therefore great together. We knew We enjoyed him fairly in early stages, and would cheerfully surrender my solitary woman status for the genuine relationship with JJ. With me talking to other guys since he isn’t “ready” to be exclusive / committed to me, he said that he’s “totally ok. We occur to understand he wants me to do, than I’ll do it that he is NOT ok with this, but if that’s what. Enter the rest of the Suitors. Reputation: UNKNOWN

Suitor #2: title: My Colleague’s Father’s company Partner’s Son — you might have previously read about him in the last weblog entry, My husband to be. Age: 29 Height: 6’0 Job: Construction worker everyday Lives: has their own house on Long Island OkCupid match: No clue, although i might want to learn! My teammate at the job desired to set me personally up with # 2 over an ago, and through a series of circumstances, we never met year. He finally got my quantity so we’ve been texting for many months. We’ve had a couple of phone that is good, nevertheless the many disappointing thing ended up being which he had been a cigarette cigarette cigarette smoker. Instant deal breaker in my situation.

Suitor number 3: title: Dan Age: 38 Height: 6’0 Job: IT for the appropriate company in NYC everyday lives: Astoria OkCupid Match: 82% Dan and I also had been chatting previously come july 1st, before i obtained afraid of males (which actually means i simply don’t would like to get harmed once again! ) He delivered great communications, filled with witty remarks and humor that is insightful. He is easy and smart to communicate with making me feel immediately comfortable. Before we took my profile straight down for many months, we delivered Dan this message: “Hey, I got some individual material happening right now, so am using my profile straight down for some time. If you are still on here whenever I reactivate it (which for your benefit i am hoping you are not), you will be the very first person We message. ” Would not you understand it, a couple of months later on we updated my profile and within a day of signing on, Dan had written in my experience. He stated, “Hey, i am hoping you needed to sort everything out that you took the time. We examined every few of times to see if perhaps you were online once again. We missed conversing with you. Welcome back. ” And merely like this, Dan and I also began interacting each and every day. He is also better to speak with now that I’m sure him better. We share loves of bacon, jazz, Cards Against Humanity, new york, farmer’s areas, and nation music. Dan and I also just take photos of our meals and text them to one another on a regular basis. He calls me personally through the food store to state such things as ” We have pasta and eggs in the home. Exactly what do we make with that? ” and I also talk him through the aisles to produce something delicious. Our very very first telephone call ended up being while he had been wandering the supermarket, also it felt therefore normal. It felt like us. Status: ACTIVE

Suitor #4: title: Steve Age: 32 Height: 5’11 Job: petrol fireplace repairman life: longer Island (way to avoid it eastern) OkCupid Match: 89% Steve and I also began referring to our provided passion for tea. The time that is first texted me personally, we’d both just sat right down to a hot glass of Trader Joe’s Pomegranate White Tea! Of all of the teas on earth to be drinking at the time, fate tossed us in to the exact exact exact same cup that is steamy. We took this being a good indication, so we had a number of hour-long telephone calls. Steve provided me with their final title so of course I facebook stalked him. (Sorry people but it is 2013 — knowledge is power! ) There have been a few pictures of him by having a child that is small but he’d never talked about a youngster prior to. His twitter handle had been on the website, so I seemed that up too. The absolute most tweet that is recent “My crazy bitch of an ex spouse whom hates me personally with all the fire of one thousand suns is stalking my twitter feed. Go fucking figure! ” There have been a few other explicit tweets about just getting 4 hours per week together with his son, her being psycho, the entire world generally drawing ass. We don’t judge anybody predicated on their social media marketing, but that may seem like too baggage that is much us to manage straight away. Sorry, Steve. Reputation: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF ANGRY TWEETS

Suitor #12: Name: The Pianist Age: 31 Height: 6’0 Job: Concert Pianist and Piano Teacher Lives: brand brand brand New Jersey (ugh) OkCupid Match: 93% The Pianist is incredibly achieved, educated, cultured, well look over, and well traveled. He spends almost all of his amount of time in Manhattan and thought we would are now living in nj-new jersey for the view of NYC. He could’ve lived in Brooklyn when it comes to views of y our reasonable skyline, but he prefers the impression of suburbia amidst the city that is big. He could be additionally a fan of cheap gasoline, low fees, and an extensive number of malls. He plays piano at anything from business occasions to parties that are private concert halls. He shows pupils through the youngest protege into the collegiate elite. He’s sort and thoughtful and keeps in contact just sufficient therefore that i understand he is thinking about me personally, yet not a great deal as to frighten me personally away. He is Armenian, that I knew nothing about except that the Kardashians are Armenian. (excuse me ahead of time into the whole nation of Armenia that the Kardashian clan could be the only thing we realize about your nation! Really, i did not even understand that much. The Pianist said! ) He is wonderful up to now and I also am extremely excited to make it to understand him better. Reputation: ACTIVE

Suitor #13: Name: Nick the Dick Age: an overgrown adolescent Height: gutter Job: irritating individuals everyday lives: in a dark and dirty destination OkCupid Match: this really is simply absurd Alright, i am aware I had to throw this one on for good measure that I said there were twelve dates of Christmas, but. Bad, unlucky thirteen. Nick ended up being charming sufficient online but because the saying goes, “Good in some recoverable format, shit in actual life. ” Nick skipped within the texting area of the on line progression that is dating called me the moment he got my quantity. He was extremely talkative (way too much so! ) and I could not get a term in edgewise. He explained which he does not rely on love being all “doves and butterflies and performing and shit. Love is not that way. It is crap usually. You have just surely got to find some body you can easily tolerate. ” He also stated that whenever increasing young ones, “it’s best to simply place a sack over their heads sometimes so that they shut up and listen. Guess what happens they do say about physical physical violence: whether or maybe not it’s not working, you aren’t making use of an adequate amount of it! ” Last but not least, as he asked just just exactly what my weirdest internet dating experience is, we told him in regards to the man week that is last desired to pee on (with? ) me personally. Nick’s reaction had been “thus I guess permitting me have a shit you is out of this relevant concern, cause you are a prude? ” Status: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF HAVE YOU BEEN KIDDING that is FUCKING ME.

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